Seed Plucked from the Ground

March 3rd, 2024

I'm applying for professional positions for the first time after finishing school. Or, well, not the first time, but again in this continuous time of Post-Graduation.

There is an argument to be had for the phrase "aim high, hit low" applying to folks in every professional arena. Same for the ones talking about "casting broader nets" and "biding one's time" I presume. When approaching the behemoth that is live performance, some of the most common pieces of advice I was given were:

1. Don't be afraid to apply to things you don't feel totally qualified for, it's the imposter syndrome!

2. Be prepared for Endless Rejection; your emotional & mental strength will be tested whether or not you're prepared for it.

3. Oh, you're in Theater? I need to introduce you to my uncle, he's really involved in the industry!

The connections we make and maintain are so fascinating. People are kinder than the broader stereotype is inclined to share (though many poets have expounded on the webbing that exists between bare strangers, that harmonizes with neighbors' pain, and hums during city festivals). The safety net that is simply knowing people and being willing to talk to them is stronger and more tightly woven than I could have ever predicted.

However.

It's difficult to not feel like a seed plucked from the ground. My life is not tumultuous; I finished my degree with mentors, peers, and myself carefully cultivating each others' skills and experiences. The seed of knowledge has been planted, passion and diligence germinated it, and now it has been plucked from familiar soil to find new earth to grow in. A dandelion on the wind, an acorn cracked the shell. There is a strange other-worldness to driving to my Job at the Industry Park where I Buy Materials for the Company. In the evening, I return to the online world, where I apply to work in places I've never been or seen, try to portion out some more hope and competence and cheer into another cover letter, and then I wake up again at 6 to return to Job. I'm happy that I like my job; that it pays fairly well, that the skills I'm gaining are not entirely unrelated to my passion path. It's just strange, to cradle the little seed that is my heart and mind in my hand, carefully brush off the soil, and repackage it for places I've never been and never seen, that may have the perfect soil.